This is me

This is me glamorizing life , this is me adding sprinkles and confetti to hide the ugly parts, gazing through the walls waiting for a stream of hope to explode through them , staring at the sky wishing for my shoulders to feel lighter , this is me trying to see the world through a pretty lens, pushing the ruins to the sides .

Let's put a cover over the chaos then, let's hibernate inside this fragile bubble, carefully, and blissfully, let's hide our thoughts and tuck them warm and safe inside our comfort blanket, let's get lost inside an ocean of distractions, get busy, get numb, let's close our eyes and let reality slip through our fingers, and leave it behind.

This loud silence and these dimmed lights, this strong current of compulsive thoughts, these quarreling images and voices, this ridiculous shit show of madness, this messy party to which i wish I wasn't invited, I'll just flip the switch for now, let's just make it stop if only for a second, a priceless moment no matter how short it is, when I'll ignore the dusty front shield and look at the landscapes and glorious trees instead, when I'll groove to the rhythm like there's no tomorrow, all my worries turn to dust, I'm stronger than every voice telling me that I'm not enough and that my ways are wrong, air is filling every corner of my lungs, I have never felt more alive, It's a blessed moment I must say, the colors never looked brighter, I'm safer and I'm free.

This is me painting over the ugliness, with shades of pink, this is me cropping out  the monstrosity and leaving it out of the frame, I'm only keeping the pretty bits, this is me daydreaming of a breezier tomorrow, this is me grabbing the strings pulling out my body so I can  pull them towards me instead, as hard as i can to relieve the tension, just for a second, even if my palms are bleeding .This is me .