Not enough

Stuck in a maze , looking for a door , a glimmer of light , a little crack in the walls , anything . Searching in the drawers , behind the curtain, underneath the carpet , on the rooftop , in your pockets , but it's not there . Shouting at  the top of your lungs , deciphering all the memories that you have of it , and where you may have left it , but you can't find it anywhere , you keep searching and searching and searching in every little corner , only to suddenly stop and wonder , what are you looking for ?
That's what seeking validation feels like , that's what losing the sense of self worth feels like , chasing the unknown , running behind shadows , spinning in circles chasing your tail .
What if you're not enough ? Are you enough ? Are you loved ? What would it take for you to achieve the desired version of yourself ? Is it achievable tho ?
On what scale is your self worth measured ? height ? weight ? IQ ..?
What is it that'll make you  finally feel  fulfilled ?
Unlimited questions  , non ending cycle of self petrifying thoughts . We keep draining ourselves in a deep bottomless ocean of worthlessness , guilt , and shame.
Seeking validation becomes a lifestyle , we choose to see ourselves in the eyes of the others. we become so involved in other people's  perception of us  , we nitpick on every little aspect of our being  , that we let self hatred consume us slowly day after day , we allow this morbid , yet silent disease to grow in our insides and contaminate us from within . We lose the sense of self awareness so much , that we become our worst enemy .
But when is enough ?
We were taught to seek a premium version of ourselves , a lot of us were taught that being average is not an option , and were set unachievable expectations of ourselves , despite our limits , and regardless of what we're actually good at . Seeking knowledge and working hard to achieve a goal is fine , seeking a better physical appearance is fine too , seeking a better more refined version of ourselves is absolutely great. But constantly bullying ourselves , putting tons of pressure on it , relying on the validation of others , comparing ourselves to a so " perfect" person is not okay .
We can have the validation of every single person in the world , but none of them matters , unless it's from one person ; which is ourselves .
It's so easy to hate ourselves , it's so easy to drown in inferiority , insecurity and worthlessness . It's so easy to fall into the pit of comparison , and it's so easy to exhaust ourselves in a race for perfection , or for a different unrealistic version of ourselves , or one that is unauthentic to it , a fake one . But the hardest thing to do is to dig deep within ourselves , and find the bravery to be kind to it . Appreciating ourselves , and accepting our weaknesses and our complex emotions is the most courageous and bravest  thing we can ever do.
Please be kind to yourself .