Random
In a non-ending
spiral, a dizzying race for purpose, I finally came back finding rescue in
words, trying to come back to my senses.
As I’m
trying to reach out to the core of myself, a heavy unbearable flow of anger and
tangled emotions bring me back to the shallowness, as I try to decrypt the complex
code of my own being, a cloud of confusion disables me from seeing clearer.
What am I missing man! What is it that I can’t see, what is going on!
As my
shaking hands and tingling stomach try to fight back the numbness in my body,
and my racing thoughts try to fill in the huge void in the core of my soul, I hide
behind the walls of an erased smile and a broken mind.
In a race
where everyone runs , I’m frozen in my
place, where everyone seems to have figured it all out, I’m still battling to
remember my own name. A lamenting song plays in my head on loop. Therefore, as I’m
searching for the adequate words to spill it off, and turn the pain into poetic
figures, and sugarcoating it so it becomes less dramatic and vulgar, I’m trying
to make the chaos fashionable and glamorize it.
Because nobody
likes to talk about the tough stuff, nobody tries to understand, nobody is ready
to get rid of the typical, traditional way of thinking; the one that evolves around
one’s self, the one that is built around stereotypical ways of perceiving things ,
extreme selfishness, the one that refuses to see higher than what mainstream tries
to feed us ; the one that refuses to grow.
They teach
us how to do math, how to read and write, teach us about the human anatomy, how
to fold our clothes and make our food,
yet, nobody teaches us how to human, how to be human, how to exist.
Nobody teaches you how to understand yourself, or others, or tidy up the mess
in your head. So who is going to teach us how to turn off the fire burning us inside , who is going to teach us how to do the right thing? Does anyone even know?
Who is going
to hold our hands and pull us away from the darkness, who’s going to understand?
As this
person is to be found, I’ll keep longing to my keyboard, and unseasoned words.
Nobody have figured it all out. We surrender to the flow, and die.
ReplyDeleteSome of us stop asking questions and just carry on with everyday life, with the present.
"They don't teach how to be human or how to exist", yet.. isn't all what they teach is an attempt to exist ? And this school system wasn't made to form a humanitarian society; what might be considered as a right thing for some might be wrong for others. There is not right or wrong path..There are many possibilities that could happen. We are passengers and we write our path, that could be different if we choose differently, then we vanish. We don't have to be anything if we choose to. The world maybe wasn't necessarily made for us and we are here for a short period of time... We can enjoy every second we are here and consider it as an experience, or we could just worry if we are doing the right thing everyday and miss out.
We rush ourselves to be, to do, in order to become... Yet we are never sure if we will still 'exist' in a second from now. Where are we really rushing to ? We don't have the answer, and we try to explain it through different and many ways, to feel safer and sure because it's our nature.
So... Just look around you, everybody is sure of themselves, but nobody is. So fuck it, give it all for fun or don't. It doesn't matter in the end, but in an optimistic view.
thank you for sharing , it really made me happy .
DeleteBy "they don't teach us " I didn't necessarily mean the school system I meant more like the whole system ( parents , family , friends ... ) , I mean they don't teach us how to fold our clothes in school do they ? And I didn't even mean that it SHOULD be taught , because i know that nobody , I mean NOBODY has it all figured out , it was more like a ranting over how complicated the human state of mind is , and how it is so abstract . Therefore when we find ourselves in a crisis , there is no textbook to reach out for , or exact steps to follow to get out of it ( while being well aware that it will never exist which is normal , it was just an "ironic " way to show how vague and so out of reach is the human psychology ). So the point of this " article" if i dare to say , was not the bash the system , it was just me expressing my anger over the complex human emotions and psychological state , i know that I criticized also the stereotypical way of thinking etc .. but I know that I'm affected as well by this way of thinking , which i think reflects my anger over my own self , therefore my anger over me not being able to understand what is going on when i'm craving too , and i'm sure that i'm not the only one who over felt this way .