When weakness becomes a sin .

            Swallow the bitterness , wipe down your tears and don't let them down , smile on their faces ,  be strong , be smart , be invincible , have a sharp look in your eyes , don't let them threaten you , you should be the BOSS , the savage , the Badass ....
     All of these directives we recieved growing up , we heard them from our parents and also our friends ,we grew up thinking that weakness was a sin , or if i weren't afraid to say it , being soft was worse than being a sinner , we found ourselves trying our most to be aggressive , to show our tusks and our claws , throw every hurtful word we know at people , and hide behind the curtain of savagery .
    We used to hide our feelings , thinking that by letting them out we'll be belittled , we were afraid , and still are , of confessing love , but expressing our hate couldn't seem easier , we could throw shade and spit fire at others easily but expressing our affection seemed like a flaming hot poisonous blade cutting through our throat , so we lurked within the  darkness , we dug a big wound in our hearts , and started bleeding on others , and grew up heartless , cold of feelings and emotionless .
   All we wanted was to be seen strong , some of us succeeded  and believed themselves to be made of steel, some of us have failed completely , and felt awfully sinful for not being able to fold their hearts in a hundred layers of barbed wire , and some are still running behind impassivity , still trying to hide the last bits of humanity in their hearts . But you know what , steel does stain with water , and running does make you thirsty for water , and you shouldn't feel like a sinner for not being able to  not be a human .
   It's okay to be human , god blessed us with different kinds of emotions for a reason  , it's okay to be full of life , of emotion , it's okay to  be thirsty for love and affection , it's okay to cry and seek  for help , and it's okay to be  weak . Why would you even want to be deprived of affection ? only socio and psychopaths do that !
   We grew up trying to be rocks , we forgot our feelings , we lost the strings of connection with ourselves , and felt ashamed of our heartbreaks , of our pain , we actually found comfort in our pain ! how ironic !
  The truth is , I myself , even tho being  fully aware of all of this , still find myself
comfortable in my bubble , still find myself ashamed of my weaknesses , and desperately trying to seem strong , even tho i'm not , it is risky i must confess , to suddenly unleash myself of my ego and  swallow my pride , maybe i'll never be able to do that , but at least i know that i won't be trying to hurt anyone in order to look strong and careless , and i would never try to brag in front of everybody and show off  , and especially i won't judge anyone who decided to show his weaknesses in front of me  , at the very opposite , i would encourage them to show the soft part of them , and be human .
   I think that we should all try , and let the light dim in our hearts , allow ourselves to fail , and breakdown , and cry and scream , do what humans do .